Whine

My head spins like a Murali chuck,[1]
I can almost feel my heart ache.
Insecurity gnaws at my existence,
every moment that I'm awake.

Maybe I'll go to the gym everyday,
run a 1000 laps, just work it all out.
Or maybe I'll drink gallons of beer,
and just become a drunken old lout.[2]

Maybe it'll work out and I'll be a prof soon,
or maybe I'll just discover a gold mine.
But one thing I know I will do for sure,
I'll immediately stop with this silly whine.

[1] Flippant reference. No aspersions on the legality of Murali's action were intended.

[2] Amma: Just kidding, relax.

Imaginary conversations: The complete set

1 2 3 4 5 6 7


Just so that more people don't only read the last one and get offended by the stereotypes.


Coming next: Foo: The complete set and Fooo: The complete set.

To whomsoever it may concern

I do not condescend.

I try to con people occasionally. And I descend every time I ascend, in accordance with the second corollary of the first law of Yin and Yang [1].

But I never ever condescend.

[1] What goes up must come down.

Foo

- This girl I know has the weird notion that flipping frozen chappathis on a tava is such a trivial exercise that it's impossible to screw it up. I was going to disabuse her of the silly idea by telling her the famous tale of the undercooked chappathis and the burnt elbow, but then I figured that ignorance is bliss and just let it go.


- There's this Indian girl in my university, when I walk past her in the corridor and I say Hi, she just looks right through me and doesn't reply. Every time.[1] And I've seen a couple of other Indian girls do the same thing. And it's not like there's bad blood between us and I've dumped their best friend or anything. Not only have I never spoken to them before in my life, I've also probably never spoken to anybody who's spoken to them.

The whole thing just confounds me.


- I wonder if Newton turns 180 degrees in his grave whenever somebody says 'Every action has an equal and opposite reaction' on TV to defend some act of mob violence or vigilante justice or some other act of random hooliganism.




[1] I keep saying Hi because it's like a reflex action, you know. One doesn't actually reflect before saying Hi to someone who walks past.

Another thought

My bathroom sink invariably has an ant[1] that keeps scurrying around pointlessly. I always wait till it's at a safe place before turning on the tap. I used to think that I was just trying to be a nice person, but now I think that it's just that the ant reminds me of myself.






[1] I don't know the ant(s) well enough to know if it's the same ant, but there's always one numbers of ant in the sink.

Two questions

1. Can you ask people for advice after you say 'screw you' to them?

2. Should I discuss my latest career plans with my prof tomorrow? I'm quite excited about them, but I'm somewhat afraid that it is unwise to tell him that so soon.

Screw you.

Screw the whole lot of you. The nice ones, the mean ones, the nasty ones.

All you numerous gods, I beseech you to use your powers divine,
and make everybody's loathsome existence as miserable as mine.

PS: If you care: I'm quitting school, coming/going back to India, and joining the Army.

PPS: See you in Bangalore in a couple of months. Heh.

Confession et al.

- For some inexplicable reason, I've always thought that voluptuous meant the same thing as voluminous. So when somebody would describe some woman as being voluptuous, I'd be thinking "Come on, she's definitely not voluptuous. What's with people these days and their impossible standards of thinness anyway?"[1].

- I locked myself out of my car the other day. I was trying to park in the driveway of a tutee's house and there was this huge dog who was acting like he[2] didn't really like the idea. Kept coming in the way and giving me minor heart attacks. So with all that happening, I forgot to take my keys out and had to call AAA.


- There are occasions when I bemoan the lack of adventure in my life. But then I'll need to drive somewhere, and there will be no further lack of adventure. Silver lining of owning a stick-shift, I suppose.



[1] I could see from the context that it was meant to be complimentary, but I figured that they just meant that the person in question was curvy.

[2] Or she. Who knows these things?

The one after the last one.

She said : "Do I look fat?"

He said : "That's a pointless question really. Even if you did, would I ever admit it?"

She said : "You know, I could just kill you and make it look like a suicide. Crazy looking grad student goes off his rocker and kills himself, nobody will have trouble believing it."

He said : "Oh oh. Umm. Could you repeat the question please? I don't think I heard it right."

She said : "I look fat, don't I? I could afford to lose a few pounds, I suppose."

He said: "You're totally not fat. There's a little room for improvement in the sense that you could gain a few pounds, and not remind me of those silly supermodels on TV. It's completely ridiculous to even suggest that you look fat."

She said: "You learn too slowly my friend, but you learn."

Motivational speaker-ese (After a long time.)

When you really want something, it's really easy to convince yourself that you can't live without it. But quite often you don't get what you want, and then you discover that there are other things that work just as well for you.

The key to happiness is to develop the ability to be flippant with ones greatest desires.



Hat-tip: Revealed for explaining to me what the word flippant means.

Foo

- Today's weather according to Yahoo:

High: 74 degrees

Low: 50 degrees

Current temperature: 49 degrees


- Today's fortune in Orkut:

A friend asks only for your time not your money


- My kitchen was smelling of cooking gas this morning. I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing that we use an electric range and not a gas stove.

The world is full of little mysteries, I suppose.


- Is it better to teach or to learn? Philosophical question for you to ponder.

Brevity?

I just sent the following email:

Ms Carpenter,

Thank you.

Regards,
Kaushik Gopalan

Heh.